When I got to PEC I noticed something very strange… There are barely any locals. In fact even the locals are from Toronto. Everyone from Toronto comes to PEC on the weekend… to get away from other Torontonians. The same phenomenon happens around the province. Muskoka, Blue Mountain, Ottawa, Kingston… you name it Toronto is there.

 So I have discovered something. Ontario is not very friendly. Sure there are the exceptions, but generally speaking everyone is from Toronto. I miss my small town friendly neighbours sometimes. Sure they might go hunting and maybe they drink too much and listen to Willie Nelson, but they are good people.

 One thing that was quite enjoyable was the spa that we went to… I will continue to have Toronto behaviours if I can have a massage a couple of times a year. It is bliss and heaven all rolled into one.

 When I returned home I remembered that I could never leave Toronto. The convenience is great, the bear – my dog could not function in a small place… when we try to take her to the washroom in the country she takes hours because she keeps hearing animals in the forest, and my house and the husband are all here. Toronto is home!

 Even if it does drive me crazy sometimes!

 I believe that the reason for this is money. Most of us are powered by the need to survive and in order to survive in a consumer driven world we have to work our booty off.

I spend a good deal of my time at work, as do most people. I also spend a good deal of my off time thinking about how much I hate work, or the problems that I am encountering at work. I am not alone in this. The husband has a very stressful job as well. He loves the work, but if given the opportunity with no consequences I am sure that he would spend less time consumed by it.

 I truly believe that my life is happier when I can buy things. In order to buy things you need money which in turn causes you to have to work… vicious cycle.

 I guess the most frustrating aspect of this whole problem is that I cannot see a solution. I could pretend to ignore those new shoes at the store or the ad campaigns in the subway, but ultimately that would probably just make me more depressed….

 So I am going to blame society. Why have we turned ourselves into worker bees? Couldn’t we all just enjoy a weekend on a patio with a bbq going and some music in the background…

 Wouldn’t it be nice?

 You know what really sucks? When people that you are friends with treat you bad. Like they can step all over you and get away with it. Like if they are late, or cancel at the last minute or even say mean things about you behind your back that it is okay… I am here to give the message that it is not okay. It happens all the time to me. Oh and I pretend like nothing happened because I am the worst at confrontation!

 The husband constantly says that people shouldn’t treat me this way, but again and again it happens.

 I have even received extensively long voicemails about how I am a bad friend because I “ignored” someone at a party. I should let you know that there were 15 people at this party and the chairs at the table were huge and the music was loud. I spent the night talking to the girl on my right and glanced occasionally at the girl on my left who was talking to the girl on the other side of her… Then I get the voicemail from her saying that I am a horrible person.

 People are always late for the time we agreed upon. Not five minutes but up to an hour. There I sit after I have run out of work and to the TTC just to have to wait for them to grab a coffee and take their sweet ass time.

 I went on a girl’s weekend and caught one of the girls lying about something that I said which will eventually come back to haunt me I am sure. I ignored it thinking I wanted to avoid confrontation, but upon further reflection now I will get confronted…

 I guess what I am trying to say is before you treat someone bad, make sure that you remember what it felt like when someone did that to you. It hurt. You probably cried and that SUCKS! Be nice people!

 Here is the tale…

 Friday night we decide to meet some friends at our local pub for some dinner and drinks. Things are going great. We are eating (although they didn’t have my pulled pork – should have been a clue to the evil that was to come) we are drinking… quite a bit. A new drink was invented. It is called the Jon and Kate – 8 shots of vodka and some coke… No one actually ordered this, but it was invented!

 So eventually one of us has to use the washroom. The lucky person happens to be the husband. Away he goes. 10 minutes later (or if you prefer drink time, one drink down) and still no husband.

 Suddenly there he is. With a huge guy with him. Now the husband normally comes back from the washroom with a look of triumph on his face… this time he looks like he lost the battle. He gets into the booth and dude gets in beside him. Now at this time it is me, a friend and the husband in the booth. All of our other friends have deserted us… jerks! I begin kicking the husband’s foot to try and get an eye signal. I attempt to penetrate is mind with my own, but my ESP skills are sorely lacking.

 Guy asks my name and then starts telling us about the horrible tragedy that is his life. It sounds bad, but really I am a complete stranger. I try to give some sympathizing ummm hmm’s, but they guy just keeps talking. He asks the husband and I to name our first child after him, I am non-committal, and the he takes my hand and starts muttering something in another language. He then proceeds to act as if he has seen something horrible in me and tries to tell the husband exactly what that is…

 Finally I have had enough. My arm hurts and I want to get out of this weird situation. I say I have to pee and excuse myself. I immediately find a waiter and tell him that this guy is harassing our table and he needs to go.

 The owner’s solution…? Buy everyone a round. None of us want it. One of our friends begins to tell the owner that this guy needs to go, but the owner will not listen. Therefore we all get up and head out. We end up at a bar down the street. In between I am crying – I was kinda shaken up back there.

 We find out that the husband had been punched in the face after the guy asked what he did for a living. Then proceeded to give self defence lessons, but hit him every time he taught him something. The husband now feels useless in bars and I imagine has a fear of bathrooms.

 Stupid drunken idiots. Now Bars aren’t even safe from the annoyingness of people!

 So I think that people have lost the etiquette at movies that used to be enforced by the ushers at the theatre. I have pinpointed the exact things that are frustrating to all when watching a movie in a public place. Here is the list.

 1) Late comers that insist on finding the perfect seat. They ask you to move down; they stand in front of you and they point over your head. YOU ARE LATE! Take what you get! Here is a hint: Buy a watch and check the start time!

 2) Loud talkers. I will forgive you during the previews. Who doesn’t want to know what you think about the new movie… However, once those previews are done I want total quiet. If the person behind you can hear you are talking too loud! Why did you pay 12.50 do sit and talk through it. Go home!

 3) The Cell phone and blue tooth user. I can see the glow of your phone. That is more annoying then you giving a play by play to whoever couldn’t make it to the theatre with you tonight. If you need to make a call you can take it to the lobby… Oh and that doesn’t mean that you should talk on your way out to the lobby!

4) The loud chewer. Honestly close your mouth people. I know you weren’t raised in a barn because that is against the law in these parts. Food goes in, mouth closes and then you proceed to chew. Quietly.

 5) The bottom feeder. You know this person. I am going to get every last drop of food from this bag, cup or box. You will hear the scrape, scrape of my nails or the crinkling plastic or the slurpy slurpy of my straw. You are loud and annoying.

6) The Ants in my pants person. Oh I forgot this, I should go pee, I have a sore back so I should walk it off. The person that makes you lift up your purse or briefcase numerous times so that they can accomplish whatever they were trying to do. Again 12.50 for a movie that you only half watch???

7) The under agers. Now this one is usually reserved for scary movies. When you see a little kid that looks like they are about to have a heart attack and the parents are with them talking on their cell phones. Yeah a toddler should not be sitting in the aisle. They should be at home watching Dora.

 This list will have to be updated. I find people come up with new and inventive ways to be annoying at the movies every time. So stay tuned.

 In the meantime please try and refrain from doing any of these annoying things. We are all paying tons to go let’s try and make it a happy experience for all!

 So I was sitting on the streetcar this morning. There was a strange odour, which isn’t all that strange on the TTC, but I was really struggling to keep my stomach settled as it were. Suddenly I hear the tell tale sound of “clip, clip, clip…” I look over aghast as someone continues to clip their fingernails in a public place.

 This bothers me for many reasons…

1) I really feel like this is a private ritual to be done in the comfort of one’s bathroom.

2) Shards of nail go flying everywhere

3) People around you may get hit by these shards4) I don’t have a fourth… I really feel that 1 through 3 sums up pretty good why this is disgusting.

 This happens quite frequently in public places I find.I have to admit this is not the worst public grooming ritual I have seen on the TTC. The top of the list has to be the woman who proceeded to blow her nose with no Kleenex. She held one nostril and then just blew onto the ground (or surrounding area of the public) with no care in the world.

 I think I threw up in my mouth and then moved as far away as possible. Normally I try to conceal my movement away from the person that does not smell one hundred percent fresh, but with this woman I just hauled ass across the car.

 Sick people. Sick!

 (sorry to all the people that just threw up in their mouth a little… I feel for you!)

 We decided a nice trip to the distillery would be a great side trip. We walked along the cobbled paths and perused some art. (We are currently trying to find original paintings to adorn our new house walls) We visited Soma so that we could get a chocolate bar and then we began making our way back to Buskerfest. Our final destination was the parking lot on the Esplanade, but we had to go to Shoppers Drug Mart as a via point. Also one of the husband’s good friends had a girlfriend that was showcasing some art and so we could not avoid the busy section of the street.

 Away we go through the thick of things. Except that for some reason Torontonians really panic in crowds. It is a live or die mentality and people are bound to get hurt if they happen to stumble into the wrong area. So… there was a big centre stage that many people were crowded around. This only left room for a tall and skinny person to get through, but in fact had about 20 different paths of people trying to get by.

I end up in the middle of these paths and get smacked, pushed, and jostled all through the crowd. This causes me to have a panic attack. I start breathing heavy, tearing up and generally getting very anxious. The husband is behind me trying to be soothing but kind of ends up pushing me by accident too.

 I find a parkway with no one in it. I make my way over to it and we finish the walk going up to King Street.

 I think it is time that Toronto acknowledged the fact that street festivals need to be either spread out over great distances or better planned for traffic. The street is just not wide enough to host a “concert”.

Also if one more SUV stroller smashes into the back of my legs I am not responsible for the outcome. I can see you looking at my legs when you roll it into me so don’t even use the excuse… Perhaps if you have no depth perception you should be wearing glasses.

 Bags are not weapons. Just because you have somewhere you need to get to does not mean that swinging a backpack in someone’s face is okay. It hurts a lot. Chances are if you are in a group of people that are all heading in the same direction it is best to just move in a kind and considerate manner. You will get there, and you don’t have to leave a trail of carnage behind to prove it!

 Face it Toronto. We pretend that we are the nicest city, but in fact we are just as rude as every other city. The only difference is occasionally you hear a “Please” or “Thank you” to make up for the rudeness.

 I need an island that no one else is at. There would have to be an Ed’s and a Starbucks. Hmm… I don’t think that will happen anytime soon.

Like any good worker I ignored the noise and continued my steady marathon.

 About twenty minutes later I went to file something and crowded in a fellow co-workers office were all my colleagues. There had been a huge crash at the intersection. This is not really unusual for Toronto. There were some unusual things happening during this catastrophe, however. Let me explain!

 1) The accident apparently happened right in front of a police officer who was sitting on the other side of the intersection. When we he witnessed it he proceeded to leave the accident and go…? Who knows! Wouldn’t we be fined for leaving the scene?

 2) The one car was on the opposite sidewalk. It looks like he took a left hand turn but went to wide and ended up on the sidewalk.

 3) The other car was still in the middle of the pedestrian crosswalk and did not move for a good hour.

 4) The fire people had a big job! They got to sprinkle sand all over the road. We thought something big was happening when one jumped on top of the truck, but then he proceeded to grab a broom. *Sigh. I thought I would see some action.

 5) The intersection lights were out. There were 7 cops on the scene and it took them a good 20 minutes to decide that perhaps someone should direct traffic. This only happened after one of the cops was trying to cross to Tim Horton’s (I’m not kidding!) and almost got hit.

 6) The entire accident was caused because the lights (as mentioned before) had gone out and two cars decided to drive like there was no intersection. No brakes, no signals and no brain apparently.

 7) I am afraid to drive. The same people that walk in front of you or ride your back, or stop dead on the street in front of you are all driving. Think about that the next time you go to a mall and get run into a gazillion times! Most of those people will be driving home on a road near you!

 It all started when we had dreams for the house. This room will be like this and that room like that. We hired a friend’s mother to help us out with the decorating (which has been the biggest help by far!). We started with the living room/dining room and master bedroom.[i]

 We went and picked out the furniture at a custom design store. We mixed we matched it was like heaven for me! We placed the order and put a down payment and then we waited hopefully for the phone call to tell us the furniture was ready! We waited 6 weeks. Finally a call came. To tell us there was no way that the order would be done on time (umm what time we weren’t given any times…) and that they would have to find our fabric (later to be discovered on the floor of the warehouse).

We were given a date. Two weeks from the time of the call! Yay! The husband took time off work (another eek… he is obsessed with work) and we were all set for a delivery on a Friday.

There I am sitting having lunch in Scarborough at Sunrise (I work in Scarborough) and there is a phone call from the furniture store. The first thing I hear is “How important were the buttons on the dining room chairs” (Considering I paid an extra ____ -husband protection program, they are quite important!) I let the guy know this.

Then he tells me delivery can’t be made. I have a temper tantrum while the guy kinda hums on the phone and tell him to call the designer! I sound like a lady who lunches… and I was lunching!!!

 This story could really go on forever. So to shorten…. All of this happened on Friday. I now have two loaner chairs, a table with no legs, a floor model chesterfield that is supposed to be brand new, three missing chairs that were sold by accident, and a banged up dresser that the carpenter has to come and fix. Oh and I have seen the delivery guys more than my husband it seems… That isn’t necessarily weird with his work obsession and all.

 The kicker to the story is that while I am sorting all this out the husband is trying to get our eaves troughs fixed (he called over a month ago) and keeps getting told they will come tomorrow. I have actually never seen him super angry, but I don’t envy the guy who gets sent to fix ours. The husband may exact revenge… in the form of some sort of legal jargon… he is a lawyer, so not really scary!  

[i] This was not easy considering that my husband is really really really really cheap. He cries when you have to throw out pants that he has had since high school because there are holes in them. Not for the sentimental value (okay a little for the sentimental value) but mostly because he knows that means he has to buy more… More on this later.

 This blog is to protect my sanity. I worry that I am being driven mad by pushing all of my anger and frustrations to the back of my head and that one day it will 1) explode in a crazy burst of anger and on my part humiliation or 2) make me kill my husband and sever all hope of our marriage making it through to grandkids. (The second has already almost happened)…

 So the first entry will be dedicated to the most recent incident…

The TTC (which will be a recurring theme I have a feeling…)

August 25, 2009 – Subway between Main street and Victoria Park- 3^rd car from the front around 8:10 am.

There was a girl with a backpack. The backpack was not off the girl’s back as the TTC rules dictate. Instead it was on both shoulders looking like it might burst and have all the random objects explode out to the floor. Not only that, but it also had a strange odor. Something in between the smell from the garbage strike and old pencil shavings… Yuck!

Lucky me the girl teeters her way off her seat and over to the entrance of the car (work on those sea legs!) which happens to be right beside where I am sitting.

I was happily reading my book when BAM! I got hit in the head with the bag. Of course there was no apology or even a glance my way to ensure that I didn’t get hurt. What happens next? The girl falls into my lap. I kid you not. All 190 pounds of her plus her 30 pound bag. I am not that big of a person and this really hurt. She gets up and stumbles off the train. Not one person asked if I was okay and she most definitely was too worried about getting to wherever she was going…

Good morning Toronto!